BMA eBook - Manual / Resource - Page 24
SPOTLIGHT ON INFLUENCE
How you present yourself in workplace
settings matters a great deal to how
you’re perceived by others. Even if you’re
not feeling particularly warm, practicing these approaches and using them in
formal and informal situations can help
clear your path to influence.
WARM
COLD
When standing,
balance your weight
primarily on one hip
to avoid appearing
rigid or tense.
Avoid standing with your
chin pointed down.
Tilt your head slightly
and keep your hands
open and welcoming.
Avoid closed-hand
positions and cutting
motions.
Imagine, for instance, that your company is undergoing a major reorganization and your group is
feeling deep anxiety over what the change could
mean—for quality, innovation, job security. Acknowledge people’s fear and concerns when you
speak to them, whether in formal meetings or during watercooler chats. Look them in the eye and say,
“I know everybody’s feeling a lot of uncertainty right
now, and it’s unsettling.” People will respect you for
addressing the elephant in the room, and will be
more open to hearing what you have to say.
Smile—and mean it. When we smile sincerely,
the warmth becomes self-reinforcing: Feeling happy
makes us smile, and smiling makes us happy. This
facial feedback is also contagious. We tend to mirror
one another’s nonverbal expressions and emotions,
so when we see someone beaming and emanating
genuine warmth, we can’t resist smiling ourselves.
Warmth is not easy to fake, of course, and a polite
smile fools no one. To project warmth, you have to
genuinely feel it. A natural smile, for instance, involves not only the muscles around the mouth but
also those around the eyes—the crow’s feet.
So how do you produce a natural smile? Find
some reason to feel happy wherever you may be,
even if you have to resort to laughing at your predicament. Introverts in social settings can single out
one person to focus on. This can help you channel
the sense of comfort you feel with close friends or
family.
For example, KNP worked with a manager who
was having trouble connecting with her employees.
Having come up through the ranks as a highly analytic engineer, she projected competence and determination, but not much warmth. We noticed, however, that when she talked about where she grew up
and what she learned about life from the tight-knit
community in her neighborhood, her demeanor relaxed and she smiled broadly. By including a brief
8 Harvard Business Review July–August 2013
Don’t pivot your body
away from the person
you’re engaging with.
anecdote about her upbringing when she kicked
off a meeting or made a presentation, she was able
to show her colleagues a warm and relatable side of
herself.
One thing to avoid: smiling with your eyebrows
raised at anyone over the age of five. This suggests
that you are overly eager to please and be liked. It
also signals anxiety, which, like warmth, is contagious. It will cost you much more in strength than
you will gain in warmth.
How to Project Strength
Strength or competence can be established by virtue of the position you hold, your reputation, and
your actual performance. But your presence, or
demeanor, always counts, too. The way you carry
yourself doesn’t establish your skill level, of course,
but it is taken as strong evidence of your attitude—
how serious you are and how determined to tackle
a challenge—and that is an important component of
overall strength. The trick is to cultivate a demeanor
of strength without seeming menacing.
Feel in command. Warmth may be harder to
fake, but confidence is harder to talk yourself into.
Feeling like an impostor—that you don’t belong in
the position you’re in and are going to be “found
out”—is very common. But self-doubt completely
undermines your ability to project confidence, enthusiasm, and passion, the qualities that make up
presence. In fact, if you see yourself as an impostor,
others will, too. Feeling in command and confident
is about connecting with yourself. And when we are
connected with ourselves, it is much easier to connect with others.
Holding your body in certain ways, as we discussed above, can help. Although we refer to these
postures as power poses, they don’t increase your
dominance over others. They’re about personal
power—your agency and ability to self-regulate. Re-
ILLUSTRATION: COLIN HAYES
Are You Projecting Warmth?
