BMA eBook - Manual / Resource - Page 23
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less of gender, have a unique physiological profile,
with relatively high testosterone and relatively low
cortisol.
Such leaders face troubles without being troubled. Their behavior is not relaxed, but they are relaxed emotionally. They’re often viewed as “happy
warriors,” and the effect of their demeanor on those
around them is compelling. Happy warriors reassure
us that whatever challenges we may face, things will
work out in the end. Ann Richards, the former governor of Texas, played the happy warrior by pairing her
assertiveness and authority with a big smile and a
quick wit that made it clear she did not let the roughand-tumble of politics get her down.
During crises, these are the people who are able
to keep that influence conduit open and may even
expand it. Most people hate uncertainty, but they
tolerate it much better when they can look to a
leader who they believe has their back and is calm,
clearheaded, and courageous. These are the people
we trust. These are the people we listen to.
There are physical exercises that can help to
summon self-confidence—and even alter your
body’s chemistry to be more like that of a happy
warrior. Dana Carney, Amy Cuddy, and Andy Yap
suggest that people adopt “power poses” associated with dominance and strength across the animal
kingdom. These postures are open, expansive, and
space-occupying (imagine Wonder Woman and Superman standing tall with their hands on their hips
and feet spread apart). By adopting these postures
for just two minutes prior to social encounters, their
research shows, participants significantly increased
their testosterone and decreased their cortisol levels.
Bear in mind that the signals we send can be ambiguous—we can see someone’s reaction to our presence, but we may not be sure exactly what the person is reacting to. We may feel a leader’s warmth but
remain unsure whether it is directed at us; we sense
her strength but need reassurance that it is squarely
aimed at the shared challenge we face. And, as we
noted earlier, judgments are often made quickly, on
the basis of nonverbal cues. Especially when facing
a high-pressure situation, it is useful for leaders to
go through a brief warm-up routine beforehand to
get in the right state of mind, practicing and adopting an attitude that will help them project positive
nonverbal signals. We refer to this approach as
“inside-out,” in contrast to the “outside-in” strategy
of trying to consciously execute specific nonverbal
behaviors in the moment. Think of the difference
Before people
decide what
they think
of your
message,
they decide
what they
think of you.
between method acting and classical acting: In
method acting, the actor experiences the emotions
of the character and naturally produces an authentic performance, whereas in classical acting, actors
learn to exercise precise control of their nonverbal
signals. Generally speaking, an inside-out approach
is more effective.
There are many tactics for projecting warmth and
competence, and these can be dialed up or down as
needed. Two of us, John Neffinger and Matt Kohut,
work with leaders from many walks of life in mastering both nonverbal and verbal cues. Let’s look now at
some best practices.
How to Project Warmth
Efforts to appear warm and trustworthy by consciously controlling your nonverbal signals can backfire: All too often, you’ll come off as wooden and inauthentic instead. Here are ways to avoid that trap.
Find the right level. When people want to
project warmth, they sometimes amp up the enthusiasm in their voice, increasing their volume and
dynamic range to convey delight. That can be effective in the right setting, but if those around you have
done nothing in particular to earn your adulation,
they’ll assume either that you’re faking it or that you
fawn over everyone indiscriminately.
A better way to create vocal warmth is to speak
with lower pitch and volume, as you would if you
were comforting a friend. Aim for a tone that suggests that you’re leveling with people—that you’re
sharing the straight scoop, with no pretense or emotional adornment. In doing so, you signal that you
trust those you’re talking with to handle things the
right way. You might even occasionally share a personal story—one that feels private but not inappropriate—in a confiding tone of voice to demonstrate
that you’re being forthcoming and open. Suppose,
for instance, that you want to establish a bond with
new employees you’re meeting for the first time. You
might offer something personal right off the bat, such
as recalling how you felt at a similar point in your career. That’s often enough to set a congenial tone.
Validate feelings. Before people decide what
they think of your message, they decide what they
think of you. If you show your employees that you
hold roughly the same worldview they do, you demonstrate not only empathy but, in their eyes, common sense—the ultimate qualification for being
listened to. So if you want colleagues to listen and
agree with you, first agree with them.
